What I've Learned

I have been meeting with my health coach for a while now. She has been guiding me on my path to becoming a non-smoker. Her talent and encouragement has enabled me to depart the path where the gremlin that resides in my mind can control when I smoke a cigarette and how many.

I can't believe that I've stayed with this program now for 6 months, starting at 38 cigarettes a day to the 16 cigarettes per day that I'm presently at. Reflecting back on the past 6 months I realized that every day, every cigarette, every urge has been controlled by that very dastardly character called "The Gremlin". He has asked me to chain smoke, he asked for another cigarette multiple times a day, he was relentless as you all know. I remained committed to this program and to my health coach and gradually I began making progress last week, FINALLY, and averaged only 17 cigarettes per day. 17 cigarettes probably seems like quite a few, but, it's a long way from 38 cigarettes per day.

"The Gemlin"

As mentioned, I feel a lot of success in the number of cigarettes I smoke now daily. I am grateful for this but I'm amazed at the transformation that I've had this past week. This was the first time that I had control against "The Gremlin", He was still there right behind my ears encouraging me to scurry down to the garage to have a cigaette ( and just maybe several). It was different though.....I was able to get involved in something else other than the mad dash to the garage for a cigarette. I felt myself gain the control I had yearned for every day. Don't get me wrong, "The Gremlin" is still there and will probably be there as long as I live....BUT.... I am becoming stronger than "The Gemlin" aand I am ecstatic about that. While I don't expect to win every battle with him, I expect to begin winning more and more. I now see a path that will take me to a life without cigarettes, coughing gunk out of my lungs and the fear that I would die from lung cancer, emphysema or COPD. I am not afraid of death! We must each accept that inevitability. I am afraid of what happens before death!

I SEE A PATHWAY AND A LIGHT AHEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!